I wish I could always have happy, uplifting posts, but it doesn't appear to be working that way. With addiction, one has to take into account that some days are harder than others, Today is one of those days. Honestly, I have been feeling just a little off for a couple of days. It's a weird feeling, not really depressed, discouraged, lonely, worthless, or any of those feelings that build up inside me and lead me to acting out. Maybe it is possible that I just feel like something is being unfulfilled. Like the desire to be working right now, instead of home for yet another day while my clients are deciding whether or not they want home health services. I'm used to being gone almost all the time, and it is so hard to have gone from working 48 hours a week to working 8. It's not that I haven't looked, I have. And in fact, I was just hired on at a new company, but now I am just sitting here, waiting for hours to be given to me. Ridiculous, it is. Three jobs and only working 8 hours. Really it is driving me insane and crazy to not be busy! Perhaps there is some reason I am supposed to be going through this right now. Not that I know what that reason is. Sure wish I did thought. It appears that once again the Lord is trying to teach me. But it feels like I am not listening, or not hearing. Something is not right in my life if I am not hearing the inspiration I am so used to receiving. My dailies are not suffering, I am doing all the things I need to do every day to stay close to Christ.
Maybe I should go to a meeting, get out of this dratted house and my corner of the basement. That means going out in the snow, but maybe, just maybe it will be good for me.
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