For years I have been living life in a very protective way, not trying new things for fear of failure and not being real. Real had always hurt too much or seemed so unattainable. Recently I have come to a space of trying to listen to my heart and my soul, attempting to find myself. In doing so, my world has been rocked to the very core. I have found a reserve of love I never even knew I had, and I have found a deeper acceptance for myself.
I am not perfect, and I make mistakes. I'm learning that it's okay. Guys, making mistakes is part of life, it's how I learn to be my best self. It makes me who I am today. The struggle is learning the lessons I need to learn to reach my full potential. Sometimes I need to learn the same lesson many times. But I am my best friend or my worst critic, and I have always gone with the latter. Learning to sit with myself and understand who I am is the hardest thing for me to do, because it really hurts sometimes.
Coming to a space of being real has been something I never thought would happen. I am a people pleaser by nature and I always want everyone else to be happy. In living this way, I have neglected my own happiness in so many ways. And I have hidden behind walls that have taken me years to even begin to break down. I will always struggle with being real, because I feel too vulnerable. But that space of raw vulnerability is what builds trust in relationships and allows me to thrive in my calling on earth, to love and be compassionate and be a tool in the hands of my Father in Heaven. My experiences help others, and other people have experienced that can help me. I was created to learn to love and trust and grow, and allow others to do the same.
I am going to try to live authentically so that I can fulfill my purpose here on earth. I'm learning to accept and love, and even trust myself, and that is what will bring me to a relationship with my Heavenly Father.